Your Man Imagines Fucking Every Woman

If you haven’t picked up the August issue of Elle, I suggest you stop what you’re doing and get it right now. There is an article in this issue that will blow your mind.

In “They Like It Like That?” readers are invited into the dirty minds of three anonymous men.

These men are married with children and are accomplished men with good careers. And they all think about fucking random women on the street.

It begins with “You know that look you catch your boyfriend giving other women? That… is just the tip of a vast iceberg—the sexual fantasy life of men.”

After a wonderful weekend with Charmer, a weekend where I even fantasized about being his wife, I was thrown for a curve after reading this article. 

While I am no fool to realizing that men fantasize about women, I did not know how often they do it.

Men fantasize about sex with women at the sight of skin. It doesn’t matter if he knows you. It doesn’t matter if you’re a ten or a six. If you’re showing skin as you walk down the street, more than one man on that street will be fantasizing about you.

Wearing a miniskirt? He’s thinking about fucking you. Wearing a V-neck? He wants to motorboat your knockers. 

You don’t have to be scantily clad either. Even a spaghetti strap top will do the trick. 

This idea literally makes me upset and sick to my stomach. Imagine all of the sick creeps that are thinking about you. The fact that even a married man could fantasize about me irritates me. Charmer’s doctor friend once had a conversation about how nice my ass was. I was repulsed, not only because this man was at least 45, but also because he was married! 

It doesn’t stop there, either. 

Even if you’re the prettiest girl in the world. There will always be some other woman that he has or will fantasize about. 

So if you’re a single gal, this may be enticing to you, especially if you love male attention. “Great,” you think, “all these men want to fuck me!” Stop right there sister! Think about your own past boyfriends and how jealous you were when they looked at other women. 

For those of you who have your own man, you’re probably a little angry. While you’re silently cursing him for merely glancing at other women, he’s actually thinking dirty thoughts about them. 

He’s mentally cheating on you. 

Just the other night, I went to an open mic night at a local bar. It was comedy night, but some interpretive dancers signed their selves up on the list to perform. The performance consisted of two girls in muscle shirts and tight shorts. They were both cute, and they were both dancing (interpretively) with each other. After their performance, they walked past Charmer and me. When they passed, one after the other, Charmer said, “You did a really great job!” to each girl. Charmer doesn’t even like interpretive dance, though he said it was done so artistically that night. 

I wanted to kick him in the fucking balls for saying that to those girls, as I later told my best friend. But all I did was give him an evil, two second glare. 

Seriously, I wanted to say, “What do you think those girls are going to give you their numbers and start flirting with you because you complimented them?” His intention was clear—he wanted their attention—and I didn’t like it one bit.

You may think your boyfriend is too much of a great guy to be like that. He’s a Christian, he’s a Mormon, or he’s a virgin. Don’t be so naive.

No matter who he is or what his values are, he’s thinking dirty thoughts about other women. 

And I hate to tell you, but there is nothing you can do to prevent him from thinking these dirty thoughts. But I can give you a few pointers to keep you from beating up your boyfriend or swearing off of men forever or both of the above. 

The good news is, none of the men in this story ever cheated. 

The men realize that they have it good—a beautiful wife and children who love them. They all love their wives and still find them sexually attractive. 

It is extremely frustrating to watch your man craning his neck around to check out some hottie, but the best thing is to pretend that you don’t notice.

You should never say anything about it when he looks at other women. He’ll think you’re nagging and will find you annoying. 

Now, unless he starts whistling at other women or blatantly flirting with them, you should say something. In fact, if he’s doing one of the aforementioned actions, you should say that you are breaking up with him. 

If he constantly checks out other women while you’re around and if he makes you angry enough, tap into his insecurities a little bit.

You should also realize that men are extremely insecure. He probably thinks you do the same thing to other men, which makes him worry. Check out other men (but not too obviously) or pick up a magazine with some beefy hunk on the cover and smile as you read the article about how he can bench press 450 lbs. These are all evil little things that I do to regain my man’s attention.

They are subtle enough for him to think, “She finds other men more attractive than me.” Then he is suddenly more focused on getting my attention back. 

Don’t do anything blatantly obvious or inappropriate. What you do should be so subtle that you question whether or not he’s going to bring it up in conversation with you. If he doesn’t bring it up, don’t worry. He noticed. 

Be comforted in the fact that he finds you sexually attractive. 

If he finds you attractive and truly loves you, he won’t cheat on you even if he does think dirty thoughts about other women.

This is how men are programmed. We cannot change it nor should we try. 

If you feel that you’ve completely lost your man’s attention, don’t worry. You can get it back. The best way to regain that spark is to do something unpredictable. Have a random Wednesday night out with your girlfriends. Start going to the gym or take up a hobby. Remember how you were when you first met—you had your own life and your own schedule. You were funny and independent, and he loved you for it.

Be the woman you were when you first met, and you’ll get him back.

And if you don’t get him back, you should probably leave him. Don’t worry about being single for long. Just remember that some man some where has already been fantasizing about you. 

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